Advanced Fellatio Techniques
by Cory Silverberg
If you've already acquainted yourself with the basics of how to perform fellatio
and are looking for some advanced tips you may find new ideas below.
Remember that great fellatio isn't about sticking to one technique, it's about
having a spirit of adventure and desire, and an ability to listen to what your
partner is telling you, verbally and non verbally.
As important as any technique, maintaining a connection with your partner during
fellatio can turn the heat way up. It's not about staring your partner down (or in most
scenarios, being stared down at). Instead make eye contact now and then and use
the contact both as an opportunity to let your partner show you how much they like
what's happening but also to say something with your eyes. Keep in mind that desire
on a face is obvious, so if you aren't into what you’re doing, they'll know.
Shape of the Tongue
As kids we're often fascinated by our tongues and our ability to contort them into all
sorts of shapes and configurations. As adults we may forget all the different ways our
tongue can feel depending on the shapes we make. A tongue that is wide and flat
feels very different than one curled up, or rolled into a tube. The side edge of your
tongue feels different than the tip which feels different than the flat part in the middle.
Guys will mostly notice this difference if you're using your tongue on the frenulum or
the scrotum, but some guys have spots on the shaft of the penis that are also very
Put the Blow into Blowjob
Most people focus fellatio on the penis, but the scrotum, or balls, shouldn't be
ignored. They are highly sensitive to even the softest touch, plus they are the source
of great psychological power to a guy (so being nice to them can be thrilling and
being not so nice to them can create a kind of scary-thrill). Try gently tapping on his
scrotum with the pads of your fingers (avoid fingernails unless you know he's into
that). You can also make a circle with your thumb and forefinger and grab the scrotum
at the point where it meets his penis, and gently pull down, away from his body. You
can also use your fingers to massage the scrotum, again gently, playing with the
Sucking or creating suction with your partner's penis in your mouth will draw more
blood into the penis than is already there. This creates a general feeling of pressure
that many guys find highly pleasurable (kind of like a blood pressure cuff, but much
nicer). You don't need to maintain steady suction until he orgasms. Instead vary the
sucking and the amount of pressure you create. Play with the difference between
suction with just the head of the penis in your mouth and doing so when you have the
head and some of the shaft in your mouth. It's possible to be overzealous which
probably won't cause permanent damage but could lead to a painful couple of days
later, so be sure to vary the pressure and check in if you're getting rough.
One Little Finger
The anus is a site of enormous potential pleasure, filled with nerve endings and very
sensitive to pressure and touch. Unfortunately a lot of straight guys are hung up about
the idea of anything being near their rear. That said, if you're interested in introducing
your fella to the joys of anal pleasure there's no better time than fellatio. He's turned
on, relaxed and eager to feel more. When approached with caution and an
understanding of the anal safety, using your finger to gently stroke or massage the
outside of the anus can add a huge amount of pleasure to fellatio. Even if you never
venture further (you probably will) the external stimulation alone can be mind blowing
for guys who have never had it before.
The practice of taking an entire penis in your mouth (actually that's not accurate as
deep throating usually involves letting some of the penis pass into your throat) is a
much discussed technique. It's certainly something a lot of men like (although it's not
clear if they like the physical stimulation or the idea that it's happening) and it is also
something some fellatio practitioners also really enjoy. Most techniques to learn how
to deep throat emphasize the importance of the giver being in control, and essentially
learning to tame your gag reflex. Most oral sex books and many websites offer
detailed step-by-step instructions.
The perineum is the area between the scrotum and the anus and a lot of men enjoy
having this area massaged during fellatio. Depending on his comfort level you might
start with running your fingers up and down the area and then slowly start applying
a bit of pressure. When you press deep in the middle of the area you are stimulating
the prostate gland externally which is something else some men find pleasurable
(although others may find this painful, or painful at first).
Humming a Tune
Known as a "hummer" (although these days when you search for that word all that
comes up is cars) this trick is a great one and surprisingly versatile. Making noises
when performing fellatio can be a turn on in at least two ways. First, it lets your
partner know you're enjoying yourself and they may be able to relax even more into
the experience knowing you're right there with them and not just doing something out
of obligation. Physically though humming creates a surprisingly strong vibration in
your mouth and you can create different sensations based on different pitches and
Advanced Fellatio Choreography
This isn't the kind of choreography that involves your feet (although I suppose it could,
if you were limber enough). Instead, an advanced technique is to coordinate at least
two different kinds of stimulation together and ramp them up in intensity and/or bring
them down simultaneously. This might mean stimulating two parts at the same time,
or moving up and down on one, and round and round on another. For example, the
movement of taking a penis into your mouth is one that creates anticipation and
suspense. Timing this action to another move (see: one little finger) can create an
effect of one "oh my god" after another.
If your guy likes it rough, and you like giving it, there are safe ways to go to town even
on these delicate parts. If you've got long fingernails you can experiment to see how
he likes it. Likewise using a bit of your teeth can be a heady reminder of the pain that
could happen (if desired). The shaft of the penis, when well lubricated, can take a fair
amount of friction and even squeezing; same for the head, although more attention
needs to be paid there. When it comes to the scrotum it's best not to squeeze the
testicles directly, but if you've got a good handle on the whole package, you might be
surprised by how much pulling can be done safely and satisfyingly. The key is
communication and a slow and gentle pushing of the envelope.
Just as fellatio can be a good time to introduce some anal play into your repertoire, it
can also be a good time to start a man off with a vibrator. Try using a small vibrator
for external stimulation particularly around the perineum while you are busy with your
mouth, and of course there are also anal vibrators that can be introduced during oral
sex. If your partner is comfortable with it, having a toy inserted anally when a man is
having an orgasm can radically shift the way the orgasm feels and where his attention
goes during orgasm. Using a vibrating penis ring or a vibrator that fits on the tongue
may not be as noticeable to a man if he's receiving fellatio at the same time.
Embrace the Power
Inherent in fellatio is an exchange of power. On the one hand the person receiving
oral sex is being attended to, focused on, and showered with love (or at least lust).
On the other hand they are also exposing themselves and making themselves
vulnerable to the touch of a partner. If you're interested in exploring the power
dynamic in sex either explicitly through sexual fantasy role play, or less obviously
through opening yourself up to private thoughts and feelings, oral sex is a great place
to experiment. This might include so-called dirty talk and specific kinds of touch (e.g.
grabbing, slapping, spanking). Or it might be something you start doing on your own,
letting your mind wander briefly to a fantasy while you're playing.
Reprinted with permission